The Writers Voice
The World's
Favourite Literary Website
Strangers
by
Epp Härm
Some time ago, on a cold winter night, a boy asked me, "Why do you look so unhappy?" Words were echoing in the empty air. I looked away. Snowflakes swirled in the dark sky. I hid my sight between dimmish stars.
"Why..." That
question was still on my mind. He had noticed the
sadness in my eyes. The dejection, I thought, was
already gone.
A soft sunbeam caressed my cheek, while a cool
breeze was playing with my hair. Slowly I opened my
eyes. Stretching out my bare feet on a grey seat
cover, I sensed the light, swaying rhythm of the
bus, that had lasted for hours. Drowsily I pushed
the bag, which was replacing a pillow at the
moment, further. It was still early in the morning.
Summer. Freedom. And adventures?
Who was I then? Fair, wispy hair on the back, pale
green eyes, jeans round the hips and a back-bag on
a
tanned shoulder. Without past and future, I
belonged
only to that brief moment, when you saw me. And you
didn't need to know more.
Last stop. I was standing on a bottom stair of a
bus
and watched morosely in front of me. Heavy, opaque
rain.
I landed with a light jump on a crumbled pavement.
And
already I felt how the ringlets cleaved clammily to
my
face and water drops reached down from the neck.
Finally I knocked at a wide, brown door. As it
opened, I
slipped quickly to a poky entry and pulled a soaked
top over my head.
Few hours later the sun was shining again. Air,
sweet
because of the fresh rain, blended with dust that
rose
beneath my feet. I was walking along a sandy road.
And one moment I was standing there. At His
doorway. I
watched blatantly into coffee-colored eyes that
gauged
me long. From top to bottom. Trouble.
Next summer days... Laughter, looks, touches... And
something, I didn't know how to name, fascinated
me.
I was sitting on a swing. An old tree, to which it
was
attached, left long shadows on the ground while
the
sunset gilded everything around me. Silence.
Dreaminess was broken by a sure voice. "I have
wanted
to do this for a long time!" As I lifted my eyes, I
saw Him in front of me. A simple kiss. However, I
felt
a cold and a hot sparkle running on my back. Which
one
up, which down, between that I couldn't tell the
difference any more.
An hour later I was sitting in a bus. Again. Before
falling asleep, I knew already that I would forget
Him. Summer night lightened a tiny silver heart on
my
neck - a fading memory. Only light-blue moon in the
sky looked at me with a mocking smile.
I shivered my shoulders. New Year's Eve. Even so I
was
standing on a balcony and let a chilly winter night
to
spite me. A darkness sprawled around me. Alone.
They
say this night is magical. Closing my eyes, I was
in
His arms. And I liked being there. Maybe too much.
From the remembrance shook me up the hollow voice
of a
clock. Midnight. The end of old and the beginning
of
new.
Days, months went by. Stifling heat motioned that
it's
time to go. But wherever staying, I threw hidden
glances around me. Always accompanied by a little
hope
to find someone I knew.
I looked at white sand on my toes. The same road.
Same
time, only a year later. Suddenly I felt a strong
grasp round my wrists and ground disappeared under
my
feet. It seemed that He would like to shake me
hard,
like a kitten.
So close. I didn't even try to release myself.
There
was something menacing in His pose. Angry and hurt.
Discouragingly I stood back one step.
Morning sunlight tickled me awake. I pushed the
blanket hastily to the floor and grabbed at the
bag.
I stepped on dampish cobbles. Town, beneath the
mist,
was asleep. For now. Dropping my head down, I
sighed
inaudibly. Cool water on my face consoled.
I sat on the first leaving train. Grey. I lifted
legs
on the seat and leaned against cold glass.
Downpour.
Wind arose into a storm and somewhere flashed
lightening. Deafening rumble. A thunderbolt
brightened
up the leaden sky.
I winced. And detected tears in my eyes. Damn... I
didn't...
Time passed. Suddenly I noticed Him. Coming towards
me. I lapsed lower and lower on my seat.
Nameless looks gazed at us. I heard the voice, but
couldn't understand the words. I stood up. Firm
hand caught me. "Who are you?"
"Nobody."
Feeling that I'm free again, I fled. Just ran.
Along
unknown streets. I stopped in front of a
glass wall. I
was looking into my own eyes. Myself. Something had
changed. Maybe... me?
I had to see Him. I didn't know what to say, but...
Purposefully I walked down the wintry street. I had
made up my mind.
An arm round my waist offered warmness. Next to
Him.
Everything seemed so fragile, perfect. Too precious
to
lose. And it scared me. Obliviously I disappeared into
the darkness.
"Don't you run away!" Taking fright, I inhaled
freezing air. It wasn't possible. How did He find
me?
Weird. I couldn't hide my soul from Him.
"Tell me, what's wrong?"
"Why...?"
I found myself on a dark-blue seat of an old and
worn
bus. I was tired. Not a single thought, feeling.
I couldn't tell Him, that love was an illusion. I
didn't believe it myself any more.
I pulled a jersey tighter round the knees. Turning
my
head, I looked out, beyond my reflection. Inky
world.
Cagey. Afar gleamed starry lights of an approaching
city.
"This is my life. This is me."
Critique this work
Click on the book to leave a comment about this work
