The Writers Voice
The World's
Favourite Literary Website
A Friend of a Goth Person
by
Heidi Yang
I have a story to tell the world. Well not a story really, but a message. One of my friends from the Writer's Voice thought that maybe I should write something about the Gothic community. I know that many of you out there probably think that Goths are just a bunch of black clothing wearing, pierced, tattooed, pessimistic freaks. But I am here to tell you that you are sadly mistaken.
In my opinion these people are very misunderstood and people are very quick to label them as the freaks and outcasts of my society. Oddly enough I once had this same view of the Goths. But that's only because I didn't know them, I didn't know anyone who was pessimistic and wore black clothing all the time. When I entered my freshman year of high school I made many new friends and rekindled some old friendships.
One of my new friends was a girl named Katie. She was a senior when I started going to Hoover High School but that didn't bother me. Katie was someone that I'm not really sure how I met her but I'm glad I did. She was white and had long dark brown hair. She wore wire-rimmed glasses and almost always wore a long black trench coat to school. It didn't take me long to figure out that Katie was a Goth. But she didn't fit any of the stereotypes that people had stuck to her.
True, she did wear mostly black clothes and could be somewhat pessimistic, but that was it. Katie was someone I could always depend on to give me her honest opinion on anything. She made me laugh and didn't judge me by anything other than my personality. It was through Katie's friendship that I learned this very important lesson. Ignorance may be bliss, but ignorance can make anybody a very biased and close-minded person. It was because Katie that I learned not to dwell something that a boy did to me. She gave me some advice that coming from her was unexpected, but it's something I've never forgotten.
She wrote in my 'memory' book that teenage boys are scum! You're better than that. Never lower your standards but always remember that aren't infallible. Everyone makes mistakes, so don't beat yourself up if you're not perfect. I don't know where that came from but it's good advice. I learned from Katie's friendship that in reality Goths are just regular people. I know how hard that might be for some people that are reading this to believe. They just happen to have a different view of world and about life. To be honest I don't think that's such a bad thing.
Since then I have made many friends who are Goths. Some of them I haven't kept
as
friends because they weren't worth keeping as friends, not because they were
Goths. But my
friend Lydia I have kept. I met her during lunch, I noticed that she always sat
by herself and I
thought she might be lonely. She did have other friends but they didn't have the
same lunch as
she did. Throughout my high school life I've always valued her opinion. Lydia
has always given
me her honest opinion and always tells me what she thinks of my stories. Lydia
is more
pessimistic than some people I've met but I think that's due to all the crap
she's had to go
through in her life.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that Goths may be a little bit odd looking but once you get past their appearance some of them are actually really cool people. My friend Lydia actually looks pretty normal for a Goth, but some of my other friends have been snubbed for their dyed hair or the fact that they have a different lifestyle. To this day I still think about my friend Katie even though we don't keep in touch. I kind of wish we did. Katie opened up a whole new world for me.
A world that didn't judge people by their appearances but by their actions. Unfortunately some of the Goths I've met are not terribly great people. My friend Kassie is a perfect example of this. She is generally an okay person but she is rather immature and can sometimes be a little too nosy for my tastes. The funny thing about Kassie is that when I first met her she wasn't a Goth. But over the course of one summer she fell in love heavy metal and started to become more like the Goths; which didn't really bug me. My friend Ashley and I aren't as close anymore, I'd like to think that she still considers me as a friend but I try not to let that get to me.
She's actually pretty cool she just has a lot to deal with. My friend Steve is pretty cool and fortunately we are still friends. Steve is one of those people that is kind of weird in general. He usually wears a black jacket, black pants, on top of that he sometimes wears a trench coat. He loves to draw and now he helps teach the middle schoolers how to draw. One of the things I always remember about Steve is that he liked to give people hugs. Sometimes for no reason at all, and other times he just wanted to make someone feel better. Unfortunately Steve's hugs had a tendency to crush me but usually I didn't mind. All that mattered to me was that he cared enough to do something like that.
My friend Kevin has since graduated but he always pretty cool. I ate lunch with him and my other friends out in the student center last year. I'll never forget the day he showed me a simple kindness. My sophomore and junior year I ended up obsessing a lot about my guy friend Zac. One day I wrote him a letter about something I was worried about. He got freaked out and didn't want to talk to me because he was afraid that something bad happen to me if he did. I got all of this information from my good friend Jenny. I was so mad, I wanted so badly to talk to him but I knew that I couldn't. I tried not to think about it but that seemed rather impossible. I went and stood in the a la carte line to get my lunch, all the while thinking about my friend Zac. I just wanted to tell him that
I was sorry for making him worry so much and that nothing bad was going to happen to me. But he didn't have the same lunch as I did and I knew that even if he did that he would've ignored me. I tried not to let all of this get to me but somehow it did. I happened to buy a can Pringles at lunch. I was walking back to my spot in my group of friends cursing myself all the while. I kept wishing that I'd never written that stupid letter and wished that I hadn't been so stupid. I ended up kicking one of the walls with my foot and by the time I got back to where my friends were sitting I was really upset. I didn't even try to calm down, instead I almost started to cry. Somehow my anger was greater than my sadness. I walked over to where my were sitting friends were sitting and threw the Pringles against the wall.
Kevin glanced at me for a moment then he turned back to his friends. Then I sat down against the wall hoping that no one would notice me. Usually no one sat near the wall so for awhile it seemed to work. But my friend Kevin kept looking at me from time to time, he seemed to know that something was wrong. I just ignored him, I didn't want to talk to anybody, let alone have them ask me why I had thrown something against the wall. I wasn't very hungry and Kevin always had to steal food from someone to feed himself. He never seemed to bring money to school so he was always begging for handouts. After a little while Kevin came over to where I was sitting and asked if I was okay.
I ended up telling him what was going on and I told him that he could have most of my food. Eventually I felt better and rejoined my friends. But to this day I can still remember that small act of kindness that Kevin showed me. He didn't have to ask me if I was okay. He certainly didn't seem like the type of person who would even care about that type of thing. He proved me wrong that day and I'm glad that he did. This brings me to my next point. I think that because of the way Goths look some people think that they don't care about anyone or anything.
I have found this to be very untrue and it's not fair to judge people like that. Most of the people I have met that are Goths have been just the opposite of that statement. Steve, Kevin, Katie, and Lydia are all a good example of people who have been misjudged because of what they look like. There are many misconceptions and stereotypes made about Goths, as with anybody that's different from the norm. I have often wished that this wasn't true, but sadly it is. I have learned that Goths are anything but what people believe them to be. For everyone who thinks that they are cold uncaring individuals, consider what Kevin did and how that certainly doesn't fit any stereotype anyone may have.
For everyone who thinks that Goths always wear black and have tons of piercings and tattoos, consider my friend Lydia. She only has her ears pierced and doesn't have any tattoos, and while she does usually wear mostly black she worn other colors as well. For all the people who still think Goths are the freaks and outcasts of my generation I pity you. That is your opinion and you are entitled to it. But I think that you are making a big mistake by not trying to have an open mind. For all of those people who read this and found out something new about the Goths, I'm glad you did.
For all of those people who read this and decided that maybe you could get to know someone like that I am grateful to you. It is my opinion that the Goths are just like us. They may wear black most of the time and yes, they are pessimistic but isn't these days? I think that it's refreshing to have a friend who has a different view of life and the world. It may be a different view than what some people are used to, but the heck is wrong with that? I guess that brings to the end of this informative article.
I hope that whoever reads this gains a greater understanding of what are truly like. And to all the people out there who are part of the Gothic community who disagree with me, go ahead, disagree with me. I don't mind hearing people's opinions and criticisms. Well I hope this article has offered you a look into a very different and very wonderful world. A world that I am quite proud to live in.
Heidi Yang 3/23/04
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