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Socks
by
Ken Bushnell
The mystery of where the other sock went.
I don't know if you know this, but socks are really stupid aliens. They come from the planet Remax where they decided several decades ago to spy on the human race.
After extensive research they devised an ingenious plan to disguise themselves as
socks. They determined socks on people's feet would go everywhere they went.
The Remaxians sent their agents disguised as matched pairs of socks and distributed
themselves cleverly among the people. They put themselves on store shelves with 'sale' signs (some people say that's how sales got started) and they made the perfect
gift because no would ever question where they came from (Oh, those must have come from Grandma).
Their plan was almost perfect except the not too bright Remaxians forgot one important thing: when one would go back to the planet Remax to report their
findings the other one stayed behind. Hence the mystery of the missing sock.
That spare sock sees the darker side of human existence. These highly skilled, specially trained agents end up doing the lowest and dirtiest of tasks like cleaning
the oven, or sopping up spilled oil from the car. They are very disgruntled and if
their mate ever comes back to compare stories, the human race will have a lot to
answer for.
Beware Humanians, the Remaxians are still among us. They're everywhere. Tread lightly lest ye offend a Remaxian dignitary. Why do you think some people go
around not wearing socks? They know. Look at Don Johnson. It hasn't made the papers here, but it's big news in the National Empire on Remax.
Be nice to your socks. Especially that spare sock which you can't find the mate for.
You know, they like to be made into sock puppets. Do 'em a favor. Let them see more of the world than just the bottom of a rag bin. Talk to your socks. Let them
know we're friendly.
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