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Twisted Gossip
by
Suzanne Tyson
The old cliché of once upon a time comes to mind as I begin to write this story. This true story I might add.
Four years ago my family and I lived in a small
community in the southern part of the United
States. We
were a normal family with a Mom, that’s me, a
father, and two children, a boy for him and a girl
for me. Our
son had just turned the age of 12 and our daughter
was just barely 17. We had just purchased our own
piece
of earth, a small but adequate one half acre lot
where trees and flowers would blossom from early
spring until way
into the fall.
We owned a decent mobile home, and we were so
excited to finally (after twenty years of
being a
couple) have a place of our very own. No more
rent! Our children were doing fairly well in
school, and we
had neighbors and friends and family all close by.
We sighed with relief to know our hard work had
paid off.
Then it began. First it was just a whisper in our
lives. A small word here or a hint or subtle
warning, and we
shrugged the words off, going on about our
business. Nothing was going to ruin our
accomplished dream.
The first rude awakening came when a neighbor
called to tell me my son was down at the bus stop
and
several boys had him pinned to the ground. I rushed
to the bus stop to find my son was not harmed
except
for his dignity. He refused to tell me how the
incident began, and I decided to let it slide since
he appeared
too upset to talk about it.
Slowly things began to build. My son began to make
excuses as to why he didn’t want to ride the bus
and
then excuses as to why he didn’t want to go to
school. Eventually it became a daily struggle. I
would take
him to the guidance counselor’s office for
conferences, but the teasing at school became progressively
worse.
I was then able to discover that my son’s
bullying was coming from the worse source possible,
his
own family. A cousin of his own age attended the
same school, and this young man, who had once been
my
son’s best friend, had become jealous and envious
of my son’s life and friends. His cousin had
decided to
change that. Since the two young men were related,
most everyone assumed what the cousin had to say
was the absolute truth.
We attempted to talk things out between my
brother-in-law and his children, but they all began
to join in one
by one. I would witness the youngest boy and eventually his older brother tease and mock my son
in my own
yard, and they would claim it didn’t happen. My
brother-in-law then claimed I was lying about the whole
situation. I tried to stay pleasant and speak
reasonably with them, but my brother-in-law began
to swear and
yell at me angrily. I worked hard to avoid
confrontation after that.
From then on, our lives became a daily hell. If you
have never been harassed, then it may be difficult for
you to
imagine what it is like, but I will try to explain
to you how it widens and lengthens out of control.
The process
began to spread out from the school to our neighborhood to our family of aunts and uncles and
even
grandparents down to our own yard and into our
home. Not just here and there with a hit and miss,
but
everyday and sometimes several times a day. Not a
normal day in sight. Not for a year and a half.
With all of
our money tied up in land and home, we had no money
to leave. We were on the border line of seeing the
light financially, but we were stuck where we were
until.... worse turned worse.
During the day I had to watch vigilantly for my
son’s safety even in his own yard. Other boys would
approach
our home and throw rocks at our windows. At one
point, one of our friendly neighbors was so worried,
they
called the State Police.
My mother-in-law kept insisting we were making too
much of the situation, and she urged us to stay quiet
and let
the situation pass, which we tried to do quietly
for the first few months, but with each week, it
became
increasingly worse.
My husband’s line of work kept him traveling for a
week at a time, and I tried to maintain as much
order in our
lives as possible, so most of the time the problems
fell to me.
My brother-in-law became angry, because he wanted
to defend his son instead of disciplining him. He
passed our address and phone number out to his
creditors, so they would come to our door or call
our phone
when he didn’t want to pay a bill, which was very
often. It was impossible to explain to his
creditors that yes,
I had the same last name, but the debts did not
belong to me nor my husband. I would receive
notices to go
to the post office to pick up registered mail, and
since I had family living out of the area, it was
necessary I
do so. I would take the time to drive into town
just to find another letter from one of his
creditor’s. The post
office personnel were beginning to recognize me.
They would snicker when I refused to sign for the
mail,
which became embarrassing to me. The State Troopers
would occasionally come to our door looking for my
brother-in-law for unpaid debts or whatever. The
oil company, the cable company, and the garbage man
all
came to my door looking for him. I was ready to
pull up my welcome mat.
I received harassing phone calls late at night, but
only on the nights my husband was gone. I knew who
was
doing it, but I chose to hope it would stop. One of
my nephews was so angry, he pulled a gun on me in
the
street in broad daylight. My brother-in-law made it
clear I should remain quiet, because no one was
going to
believe me anyway.
Our relationship with other family members became a
nightmare. Family would pass us in their vehicles
and
refuse to acknowledge us, which at first was a
surprise, because we were unaware of the fact they
knew
anything about what was going on. It is extremely
difficult to be shunned by those you love
especially when
you have no idea in the world why. Later on we
would learn the other side of the story had been
told with a
twisted turn, but by the time we realized that fact, the family refused to speak to us or listen
to what we had
to say. My mother-in-law told me to stop being a
trouble maker and get my son in line.
Meanwhile, my son was taking mental, emotional, and
physical abuse at every turn. Three or four or five
boys
would take turns bouncing him off lockers at
school. They would taunt him in class unmercifully.
Classmates
who had been his friends for years turned their
backs on him. He became an outcast.
The four of us were falling apart. My husband
didn’t want to believe what was happening. After
all, this was
his brother and nephew, his flesh and blood. I
tried to stay calm and I presented my husband with
as much
evidence as I could, such as letters from his
brother’s creditors. My daughter was falling
farther and farther
away from us. She became rebellious and
uncooperative about anything and everything. We
found out her
uncle had been encouraging her to believe we were
too strict with her, and she didn’t have to put up
with it.
We were abusive according to her young mind,
because she had a curfew and we insisted on knowing
where
she was going. In my day, that was considered a
sign of love.
My brother-in-law attempted to break up our
marriage by telling my husband I was breaking up
their family.
He attempted to scare me away by convincing his
mother and trying to convince me my husband had an
affair. The problem was the nights he claimed my
husband with someone else, I was with him. Lies,
lies, and
more lies. Believe me, I am only giving you the top
billings. There were one and one half years of
them. There
was always a controversy where someone had to come
to me with one thing after another. All because of
jealousy. Jealousy between the young boys and the
jealousy of one brother over the other.
How did it all end you ask? I will tell you. My son
became suicidal. He felt his life was ruined, and
what was
worse he felt responsible for what happened to him
although he was the victim. He and I left to leave
the area
and moved to live with my parents until we could
sell our home. We were separated by many states
from my
husband and my daughter for almost a year. Our
family was torn apart by gossip. Everything that
happened
devastated us emotionally, mentally, and financially. Through two years of therapy, my son
learned how to be
a confident young man. He has now learned being
bullied is not the victim’s fault.
We have returned there twice to visit our daughter,
but we don’t see anyone in the family but my
mother-in-law. It is still very painful, but it
becomes less and less as we become happy and
contented in our
new home with other family and friends who have
stood by through our difficult time of adjusting.
Please. I ask you to remember this if nothing else
from what I had to say in this short story of mine,
next
time you hear a tidbit that sounds too good to keep
to yourself, remember it may have a life of it’s
own and
grow way beyond your wildest dream. Remember gossip
can destroy lives. My family is living proof of
just
that.
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